The Stuff

By Mr. Tropnevad

Summary

Two men find goo erupting from the ground, decide to eat it, discover how addicting it is and decide to sell it. The American public falls in love with the Stuff which is marketed as ice cream, but a small boy named Jason (Grant Morris) soon discovers that it is alive and turning people into zombie-like creatures that always seem to need more of the Stuff. Rival ice cream companies want to know what the Stuff is and hire ex-FBI agent Mo Rutherford (Michael Moriarty) to find out what the secret ingredient is. Mo and Jason team up to stop the Stuff from changing all Americans into zombies.


Expectations Going In

I heard about this movie ten years ago and have never seen it in any store that sells used movies. A few days ago it appeared on my recommend list on instant Netflix and I decided to see how it was. Larry Cohen directed this, so I was sure that it was going to be some what enjoyable, because I have seen another movie of his called Q The Winged Serpent.

Bad

This movie didn’t waste any time on showing how stupid it’s premise was. In the first scene an old man at a salt mine is outside at night and looks on the ground and sees something bubbling in the snow. Naturally your human instinct says if something is bubbling up from the ground in the snow you should taste it. In other words, who the heck would do something so stupid? He proceeds to eat more and then another co-worker appears and decides to eat it, too. From there they decide to sell the Stuff..

Speaking of the Stuff, I was tired of hearing the name of the movie every two minutes. I was aware of the name of the ice cream. It was on every bill board, radio ad, TV ad, and was always being mentioned. I would have enjoyed the movie better if the ice cream was named something else or they just quit saying the name all the time and just say “ice cream”.

Like most “B Movies” the editing is either decent or really terrible. This movie seemed like it was edited by a six year old. There were some scenes where characters are still speaking and it just goes into the next scene. To make it worse, the sound was not syncing up with the characters when they spoke and the first twenty minutes proved this. Michael Moriarty’s character (Mo) was constantly out of sync with the rest of the cast during this time frame.

Speaking of Michael Moriarty, his acting and what the writers wrote for him was terrible. The movie states that he was in the F.B.I. and was kicked out. He now does industrial espionage for any company that hires him. Which this sounds awesome, but he seems to forget that when you spy on another company you shouldn't give your real name. He is constantly going around saying he works for company “X” or company “y” and always giving his real name.

There is a scene where Moriarty is driving a transport truck that he stole from The Stuff Company and Scott Bloom’s character (Jason) asks why they don’t stop in the town they are driving thorugh and Moriarty replies we need to go to a big city. The next scene is not showing them in a big city but outside a castle! This castle seems to be run by a group of militants who offer to help Moriarty to stop the Stuff. At this point the movie turns into an action flick and the militants go to a Stuff processing plant and attack it. As I said, it is a “B Movie,” so it is more than likely not going to make sense.

Another horrible scene is when the militants are entering a small town in several taxis with their guns hanging out of the windows and no one seems to notice until they get out of the cars. When they get out everyone screams “They have machine guns!”  Really? You didn’t notice until they got out of the cars? Then the next scene shows all the militants standing around their commander and he tells them to pay all of the drivers, give them a tip, and make sure you get a receipt for tax purposes. That scene made me think that this actually happened and they were trying to get their money back later.

Good

I thought the special effects in this movie were good for the 80’s. I was curious what the Stuff was because I could tell that the film makers used computer graphics in some spots but not every scene. I did find out that the film makers used Haagen Dazs ice cream in several scenes where the Stuff is used. In a scene where the Stuff breaks through a wall the film makers used fire extinguisher foam.

I thought Garrett Morris (Chocolate Chip Charley) did a good job of adding humor to the movie. His name alone is funny. There was a scene where he meets the militants and they try to stop him from going up some stairs.  He pushes some of the militants out of the way and says that nothing gets in Chocolate Chip's way. He isn’t in the movie much, but when he is you will be laughing.

I have two favorite scenes. I couldn’t help but laugh at a scene at the end of the movie where the American population discovers the Stuff is bad and decides to blow up a restaurant called The Stuff, which happens to be next door to a McDonald's. It made me think that they were trying to sell this scene to McDonald’s to show how McDonald’s blows away the completion. Ha

In the final scene there are two guys standing on a street corner in a bad neighborhood and a car drives up. The driver gets out and nods to them and the two guys go to the back of the car and it is full of the Stuff. Lame pun for drugs, I know, but it’s still kind of humorous.

Overall Thoughts

There is very little good to this movie, but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. If you like watching B movies I say stream it on instant Netflix. If you hate B movies don’t watch it, unless you get the chance to see it at a midnight showing where people can make fun of it.

B movie watcher- stream via Netflix
The average person- skip