The Other F Word

By Mr. Tropnevad

Summary

As a child you question who your parents are and why they act the way they do. But what if your dad happens to be covered in tattoos from head to toe and his moral values are not the same as everyone elses? What if your dad belongs in a punk rock band? Join Jim Lindberg of Pennywise, Lars Fredrickson of Rancid, Fat Mike of NOFX and Me First and The Gimmie Gimmies, Flea of Red Hot Chili Peppers and Wanted, Duane Peters of U.S. Bombs, Mark Hopus of blink 182, Ron Reyes of Black Flag and many more as they discuss how parenthood has changed their outlook on life.



What I Expected

I heard about this last year at SXSW (South by South West) and I knew I had to see this. This was released in April on DVD and has been on a long wait status on Netflix since then and it still is. For those that don’t know me I am a punk rocker from back in the day so this movie means a lot to me not just as a punker but as a father. I started listening to punk music at the age of eleven (1994) and being a drummer I used it just like these men did to unleash thier anger.

The Bad

Honestly I didn’t find anything bad with this and as you read on you will see how this documentary is important not just for punks but for everyone.

The Good

This documentary does a great job at explaining and showing people that have never experienced a true punk scene before such as the way of life and how violent the concerts are. At the beginning of the film Fat Mike informs the audience what punk is. For those of you who don’t know or who assume what it means he says that punk is not just how you dress but how you act. If someone asked you why you are angry and brake things you say I am punk and usually the conversation ends. Most people believe punk rock is full of skin heads who don’t care but in reality punks do care they just express it in a different way. This expression is what these fathers believe shouldn’t be fully taught to their children. You shouldn’t lash out in anger and think that the world hates you. You might not realize it now but people do care about you. We will get back to this in a minute and how punk rockers are actually treated and how they themselves act different but don’t want to be looked down upon as the villain.

After a brief conversation with several dads you learn that they don’t want to set the world on fire anymore for everything that has happened to them. This documentary is not about sheltering your kids but being there and making a difference in the child's life. Something that most dads don’t give to their sons.

The documentary places its main focus on Jim Lindberg singer for Pennywise and how he is on tour, two hundred thirty six days a year. We see how this not just effects him and his family but his band members. On the start of this tour his oldest daughter tells him for the first time that she hates it when he leaves. For fathers out there this means no first day of school, no Halloween, no recitals, sporting events, and the worst of all your wife sees the kids grow up and does all of the child raising while you’re out on the road. Pennywise has been touring for twenty one years and of that time he has been on tour almost nonstop. For those unaware punk music isn’t played on the radio so they have to stay on tour to have their name out there. Tim McIlrath from Rise Against states Pennywise is something that has kept punk rock going. While other bands have quit touring, had members died, or they became to old, Pennywise was there to bring new punk bands on tour with them such as blink 182.

As Jim leaves for his tour we hear from the punk dads and how their dads treated them which is a nice touch at this point in the film. We know that Jim is upset for leaving his family to go do his job but what about other dads and their relationships with their dads. We learn from Art Alexakis of Everclear that his dad was a dead beat and his dad is the reason for his anger. Just a rundown on more about him he has a history of drug abuse and anger issues. He eventually quit drugs due to an overdose that almost killed him. Jack Grisham of T.S.O.L. (True Sounds of Liberty) says he grew up with a military father and a mom who was a housewife. He had five siblings so his attention was little if any. He constantly had to salute his father and by the time he became a teen he started drinking and doing drugs. He is now off drugs and has two daughters. Fat Mike tells a story of how he refuses to act like his dad. He has a daughter but if he had a boy he would not threaten to pull his piercings out of his body like his dad did to him.

I think Flea, Grishma and Peters explain the life of the punk rocker to perfection. They inform that when they were growing up punk they were beaten up, spit on, and people would throw stuff at them. If you act different by having a stud belt, spiked hair, or bright colored hair people would beat you up and make fun of you for expressing yourself.

After the dads explain being punks and becoming old with children and how their dads treated them the film explains the early 80s punk scene. The western punk scene started in Hermosa Beach, California with bands such as Black Flag, Circle Jerks, and Descendents. Several miles away Bad Religion was starting up, too. Kids saw this way of life as something to live by. By acting and dressing like these bands the punk scene started up and violence became the norm. Ron Reyes of Black Flag is interviewed and he gives details of how violent concerts are and how kids would go to the hospital at the end of the night. For those that have never been to a punk concert and I mean hard core punk concert and not blink 182, the concerts are still violent. It does seem that the more violent the concert becomes the more rage is brought into the band to play louder and harder. Reyes was only a member of Black Flag for one year though. He quit in the middle of a performance. This video is an idea of how a Black Flag concert was.

After discussing the violence that was going on during the early 80s the film comes back to today and how the punk rock dads are with their children. Brett Gurewitz from Bad Religion and owner of Epitaph Records says that punk wasn’t supposed to grow up but it did. This is true for the most part because most people died or just got tired of playing but some of the bands that have been around for over twenty years have experienced so much that they thought they would never make it this far in life. As the bands became older some of the men settled down and started having families. Some say they won’t change like Fat Mike, but this could be because he can’t stand going on stage anymore. Fat Mike says he loves his daughter but he can’t fully change. She will one day listen to his music and hear his father’s songs about dominatrix women, having sex with animals, and various other things. He points out that he can’t hide his sexual perversions or his drug abuse from the past and he says in order for him to go on stage and play he has to be drunk and high on Valium (hence the NOFX album name Pump up the Valuum).

Tony Hawk, Art Alexis, Mark Hopus, and Tim Ilrath discuss how as a father they have to be better for their children and they now have to look at life in another perspective. From this point Lars Frederiksen of Rancid is shown going to the park with his little boy Wolfgang. For those who have never seen Lars he is covered with tattoos and has them on his face along with having a different hair style. The two of them go to a park and on the way there he explains that having these tattoos and acting the way he does doesn’t bother him. He sees it as another form of parenting by showing his son that he isn’t a scary man just different and you shouldn’t judge someone for how they look and dress and that you should respect people for who they are.

The film jumps back to Jim from Pennywise and he informs that as a punk rocker you are essentially against the government but the moment you have a child you have to look at the world different. You now have to pay taxes and put food on the table. Your child now relies not just on one parent, but two. With him being on the road he loses his bond and trust with his children. With the decline in music sales due to digital downloads he has to go on the road to bring home money. As other people see them selling out in order to make a dollar they know they have to sell out in order to support their family. We see how life is for his family and how hard it is on them especially when Jim calls them on Skype and they are all communicating for a few minutes and then the screen goes black. They lose video feed with Jim and everyone is heartbroken.

Even though Jim is on the road a lot I am sure his time gone is nothing compared to Josh Freese. Freese is briefly in the film but this could be due to his heavy touring schedule. He explains how being gone is hard on him because he has a newborn and two other children. He explains that no matter the age of the child you have to be there with them all the time in order to bond and not to experience this with his wife effects him. To give you an idea of how busy this man is he is a permanent member of A Perfect Circle, The Vandals, and Devo. His name is on over four hundred records and as of now he is touring with Devo, Weezer, and Sublime with Rome. So this man has almost no time to be home with his children.

From this point we have several more parent stories from the punkers and how their parents treated them. Just about everyone says that their parents divorced and after that things went wrong for them as kids. These men say that they never want to be like their parents and Flea says it best while in tears and that is that his kids gave him life, they gave him everything. Almost all of them say that they stopped doing drugs and getting drunk and they understood that they have children at home who need them.

Throughout the film we understand that these children have changed the life of all of the hardest of the hardcore. People such as Art Alexakis explains that the first time he held his child he felt a tremendous weight of responsibility on himself and that is when he began to question himself. After all how can a man who can barley take care of himself take care of someone that can’t do anything. Tony Hawk informs that his life was similar to a punk rocker but he did get to come home for longer periods of time, but that wasn’t enough. He explains that being home for a few days will not work as a parent. You need to be there everyday. There comes a time in your life where you have to exit the freeway and be with your kids, because the longer you are gone the faster they will grow up. One day you will come home and at that time your kids would have aged in not days, but years.

Overall Thoughts

I was not expecting anything like this and honestly I didn’t know what to expect from several old punk rockers. I normally wouldn’t admit to this but I did cry a little while watching this. To hear how these men have changed for their children is something of greatness. If you have children and you don’t feel some emotion to these men and what they have gone through then maybe you are much more cold hearted than I, but I guarantee everyone will learn something from watching this. I know this documentary isn’t for everyone though. Some people may not be interested because they don’t have children or listen to punk music, but if you don’t watch it now I am sure at some point in your life something unexpected will happen just like it did to these men and you will realize that there is someone that is relying on you and it is better for you and your family to be there.

I am sad to say that this is not out on blu-ray and it probably will not be. The film is still touring the country and coming to select theaters. It won’t be till the end of the year till it reaches a city near me, but I would like to go just to experience watching this with a group of people. If you can’t wait till it comes to a city near you, you can buy it on Amazon for $15 or rent it through Netflix as a disc rental and it is finally on iTunes to buy or rent. I recommend buying it though because it could be something you could watch again or show it to friends and family. My own verdict for this is a buy but I know this isn’t for everyone due to it being about punk rockers.

Overall- buy